are there reasons?

Every tree

is susceptible to rot.

Within us,

cruelty wanders all our hearts.

It runs in veins

like gold.

We try not to follow

but some get greedy.

It’s crackling energy is powerful.

 

We say things

that mean nothing to us

and everything to somebody else.

And vice versa;

life is all about timing

and most of the time it goes horribly wrong.

We get frustrated we’re out of tune

with the rest of the room.

 

I wonder if it’s possible

we could ever align,

I think about you, and you,

all the time.

My position has to be a sign,

has to mean something

or am I just grasping?

 

I write some words.

They mean some things

about all of you.

People like them

and hate them

but I feel them

through every fibre

in the moments I create.

As long as one other person

can relate, I’m okay.

If I’m alone I don’t know what to say.

Either way,

I get on with the day.

Time Is Distance

In the sickly-lit, clogged up contagious space that was the shopping centre; you were there telling your friend you had to pack jelly cups for the trip to Brisbane.

I floated by, anxious, not bothering to say hi.

That day I had mixed sleeping pills and energy drinks, pretending I was messed up. And I had gone across the road from my house to where palms were often rubbed together. There were no shoestrings on the power lines but I was pretty sure I knew. Left there with less money than I knew what to do with. Decided I’d spend it on a movie, something sad and arty.

I felt especially guilty when I passed you, your beanie firm on your head, soft copper hair curling around your cheeks; clinging delicately like spider silk. A small whiff of your smell reached me. Well it was probably your shampoo but I still liked it. Soap and berries.

My eyes remained lidded as I grew more tired and a cloud continued to carry me. I saw the policeman pop up in front of me like a funny friend’s scary surprise. My expression must have puzzled everyone. I tried to smile politely at him while my face was stricken as I turned my head to your voice calling my name behind my shoulder. In my mind I was clean, he had nothing on me but I felt my right hand clawing absently at my back pocket in panic and then…

Then I was falling. I was falling sideways onto the cold store floor and just like everyone else; I seemed to be watching myself.