spontaneous thinking

I step up,

I step down.

The beat in my ears compels me,

every step is an ensemble.

Sometimes I pause.

I try to stay in limbo,

on a different plane

where the only thing that exists is atmosphere,

for as long as I can.

I sense kindness

coming from the rail,

I pick up notes rising through my body,

they say the journey’s worth it.

My skull vibrates in a way

I cannot say,

I suppose it’s joy.

Like the smiling face of an animal

or the happy routine of nature,

the constant,

the stable presence of mother.

I have many faces

for all the different places I appear,

it can be hard to know if I’m truly there.

I convince myself I’m being real

but it’s not always true.

I think about what to do,

I listen to music.

There’s education, there’s advice,

there’s pleasure, there’s motivation.

When I hear it,

I want you to know what I’m thinking,

I want you to know what I’m feeling.

The euphoria I get from every piece of life

does not equal the times

when I see your eyes aligning

with mine.

Even if I can’t meet them for long.

When I thought

what I thought

about you,

I wasn’t wrong.

simple as that

I don’t rhyme very much

cos’ it’s much too tough,

the stress on my brain is way too rough.

Sometimes though, the pain is worth it.

I was floating in the surf

hoping it wasn’t a shark

pit,

thinkin’ about the girl I like

wondering if she’d had enough of me.

There’s something about her,

she’s got this aura I can’t ignore

and I adore her.

Every morning,

before the day comes swarming,

and too many thoughts fill my head

for me to get out of bed,

I see her face,

and hear the words I should have said.

But it’s not a race

and I wish for more time;

to make her mine,

to change her mind.

Make this something that’ll last,

make me forget my past.

I guess it’s a gamble,

the die is cast

and I tend to ramble

cos’ she makes me nervous

every time I try to speak about us.

I can’t be weak,

can’t let my resolve leak,

she has to know how I feel

and for my soul,

she has the power to heal.