it comes around

Christmas paper soggy

from the son lost a few days ago.

She couldn’t throw the present away now,

this time of year was wasteful enough already.

She noticed;

her hands wouldn’t stop shaking,

her stomach wouldn’t stop contracting.

Across the street a different house,

a different feeling.

Two lovers just announced

they’re getting married.


Rainbows lit up across the country

and it was like a loose brick in the wall

had finally slid back into place.

You could feel the energy

but then you hear these everyday conversations…

“You’re a dumb whore cunt, wish I’d never met you way back when.”

“Aboriginals, not half a brain between the lot of them.”

They’re breaking down the mortar

so the erosion doesn’t go away.

I don’t know how to stop it.


It’s important to learn about darkness.

Not so you can find the right way,

just so you can survive.

You can light a little candle

in a circle around yourself,

you can pull others in but only for a short time.

They’ll breathe all the oxygen in

and eventually

one of you will be alone again.


(In the blinding light

of the realisation of my life

I saw you’d gotten a move on

and I hadn’t budged in so long.

It was alright, I was learning to be laid back.)


What is it about the colour purple?

It won’t tell me

if it’s happy or sad,

reminds me of the battle fought

inside my own head.

For years now it’s up and down,

I’ve always managed to keep it down.


(Walking in the dark with my dog,

on a deserted bike path,

I can feel ten feet tall.

I can feel wild and strong.

I see nothing for miles

except the lights in the distance

of the cars going

places they think are more meaningful than mine.)


In the moments of respite

where the only movement is a leaf

falling to the ground

you’ve got to wonder

if you stayed there forever

and let yourself fade away,

would it be peaceful,

would it be a better way to go

than fighting all the way down the line

until you’re too tired and old

to do it anymore?





You think









it’s not true.


Don’t kid yourself,
it’s time to understand.
There’s a handle being turned,

we’re just the ones





Deja vu,



tea leaves

spread across the table.


We aren’t able

to reason it out.


A conversation,


chance encounters.


There’s nothing you can do


to change it.



This life


didn’t turn out

like the night we thought it would be.


Too quick

it gets too dark to see.

It’s not the fun

we thought it’d be.


We still feel


the joy

when it comes



Still smile

at planet earth.


Still look at someone,



everything I have,


you’re worth.


It’s time

to become





being frightened.


These shadows in our head,

perhaps they’ll always be there

but they can’t kill us.


They can’t


fill us in shade

if we don’t let them.


It’s a good idea,


stick out your tongue,


bathe it

in the sun.




you have won.


The world

will be haunted




but never

our own circumference.


Just thinking it

seems to make a difference.


Even if it’s slight.


Every year will have a summer;

warm grins,

tasty bites,

cold sprite,

play fights,

new sights,




and more days

with good ends.


I see the sadness in people’s eyes

even when it’s not there yet.

I know how their story might end.

Chances are there’s a divorce or cancer in store for them,

and they won’t be able to fix it.


And I look around and realise

it doesn’t matter if you’re the kindest person

on earth or the worst.

Fate pays no heed to that.


And I don’t read the papers much

but I see the headlines on the net

and all I see are ages close to mine

and they’re never gonna rise

and it gets me down sometimes.


And all the animals that walk across the land

get snuffed out quicker than you can say ‘deserve’

and they never get a chance to say goodbye to anyone or anything.

We don’t know what they leave behind

when they disappear.

We don’t know their minds, we don’t know their families.


And this is all the inside of me.

The outside is the opposite and I give it to you

because I don’t want you to

feel what I feel.

It’s crushing, it’s very heavy.

So I want you to smile and enjoy life.

Don’t worry about too much

because there is nothing we can do to make this world right.



The quieter times-


when dew runs the length

of a spider’s web

as eight legs work to wrap a fly for safekeeping,


when an old dog still raises his head for

his owner and they press gentler than they used to,


when two faces are open to each other

and their eyes cross the divide unclouded


when a child locks in the last piece

of a jigsaw and their smile

purifies the surrounding air,


when looking at the expanse

of the sky doesn’t offer fear

but comfort,


when the soul seeks solace

and finds it

in music,


when under the ocean

you feel it crashing

yet hear nothing,


when thoughts

are just thoughts

and can be brushed away

by the touch of a kind hand,


when on the grass

and it puts maps on your skin

an ant climbs and traces the roads

and you let it pass,


when you see virtue in someone

who doesn’t see it in themselves

but trusts you

when you softly convince them,


when you understand you may be different

and you can’t please everyone

but aren’t afraid to write it down,


when it doesn’t matter what time it is

when it doesn’t matter what you look like

when it doesn’t matter what you wear

when it doesn’t matter what you do

when it doesn’t matter where you go

when it doesn’t matter what you think

or say


-are the ones I wish for.